If there’s a way I am going to celebrate the New Year, it is usually by waving a fond farewell to the Old Year, reflecting on lessons that I learned over the passing year, and will continue to work my way through during the next. A little reflection (and a dash of sage) later and I’m ready for the New Year to bring on its own lessons. The whole New Year, New You centered around goals – eh, not so much my thing.
I’m more of a starter, less a finisher. I set goals and…usually get distracted along the way. I’m a bit more roll with the flow that way. A type-A personality I might be in many areas of my life, but this is not one of them! Usually, if I come up with a plan, something else – usually something I’d never even fathomed – rolls along and changes the course. SMART goals help me stay on task when I do set them. Yet, without external motivation – you know, like grades, someone depending on me, or the terrifying fear of failure – completion of a goal is not steadfast. The only true thing I’ve completed on my own, without external motivation, is a piece of writing. It took me years to finish one novel, still a draft, and it ended up being more of a novella than a novel. Completion of other goals, especially in the form of New Year’s Resolutions, was surely not in my eyesight.
I love the thrill of beginning something. The satisfaction of completing something is… less enticing.
This week, I was catching up on Vlogbrothers videos. (I’ve been watching them faithfully since the Brotherhood 2.0 in 2007.) John’s latest post discussed things he wanted to begin this year and things he want to end. This truly resonated with me. This is a kind of Resolution I can get behind!
Inspired, I wrote down three items I want to begin, three I want to continue (to remind myself of things I have done over this past year that I like and want to remain a priority moving forward), and three I want to end. My intention is to truly focus on those endings – as much as the beginnings.
Beginnings
1. A better self-care regiment. Self-care has horrifyingly go downhill during Graduate School and… it shows. My mental health is not where I would like it to be and my physical health could stand to have a boost. Taking time for self-care – diet, relaxation, to-dos, and exercise – is much needed to recuperate.
2. Reconnecting to my soul’s joy. Writing, reading, art, gardening… everything that I have had on pause for the past several years. They make my heart sing and I am excited to bring them back again.
3. Emphasizing the quality of life I want and reframing my choices to that, rather than fear-based. This was inspired by a professor who recently shared how they were changing their perspective to focus more on how to live in alignment with the quality of life they desire, rather than out of fear of the life they don’t want.
Continue
1. Choosing courage over complacency. Last year’s word was Courage. I’ve never been one to feel particularly courageous, especially in face of constant anxiety. Last year I was determined to reframe that thought process. I thoroughly enjoyed the gentle pressing against my comfort box that word encouraged and I intend to do that again.
2. .Clearing out my personal space. We hold on to so much stuff! I want to ensure that which I have is truly what I need and (Marie Kondo-style) brings me joy.
3. Enjoying the little things and moments of life, centering in gratitude. I am truly happiest when I am nerding out about the simplest moments of life. How an ice crystal has formed on a tree, the soft clucks of my hens while I am collecting eggs, the pleasure of having a deep conversation with a good friend, the hug of an unseasonably warm day. These moments of awe, joy, love, and gratitude are what I want to continue to soak up over this next year.
Endings
1. Mindless screen time (such as wasting timing scrolling on social media or hours and hours of Netflix). The specifics of this I am still working on, but I intend to write a specific, measurable goal in order to give myself a tangible means of reduction. It’s a work in progress, but I’m thinking of giving myself only 20 minutes of mindless scrolling and only 2 hours of TV time per day to start and decreasing from there. (I’m a “listen to TV while I study” person, but I could stand to listen to music or podcasts more than that. The scrolling… can just go. It is such a time trap!)
2. Engaging parts of my life that I don’t have a connection anymore to. This includes everything from hobbies to relationships or activities. This year I’m shedding the dead weight that has held me back.
3. Accepting less than I deserve, especially from myself. Whether that is refusing to put my energy into relationships that do not support me as much as I support them, or curbing negative self-talk and procrastination, they are all important.
4. Bonus: By happenstance this will get to go on my endings list for this year… graduate with my Master’s degrees! (I am still 100% in denial about this one. Talk to me again in August. I might need someone to pinch me!)
There are certainly other items I could’ve included. Begin revamping this blogspace, for instance, or even begin my new job – wherever that ends up being. Or, you know, ending not finishing things without external motivation. Those things may or may not come to pass. (Hopefully, the former do! 😉 ) But, the above are the “biggies.” They are small in some ways and vague in others, the latter of which is definitely not a SMART goal. However, the vague-ness allows me to fit many small SMART goals underneath these overarching concepts. That nesting of goals within goals feels right for this year.
So, my friends…
What are you Beginning and Ending this year?
xoxo,
